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Collection
Favourites
Deviation Spotlight
- Sep 17
- United States
- Deviant for 18 years
- He / Him
Badges
My Bio
Current Residence: Brooklyn
Favourite photographer: art wolfe, bruce percy
Favourite style of art: Landscape photography that makes you NEED to go there
Operating System: 7
MP3 player of choice: iPhone 4
Shell of choice: shotgun
Favourite cartoon character: Deadpool, Early Cuyler, Eric Cartman, Cleveland Brown, Patrick Star, Batman, Quagmire
Personal Quote: I have multiple personality disorder but they're all exactly the same.
Favourite photographer: art wolfe, bruce percy
Favourite style of art: Landscape photography that makes you NEED to go there
Operating System: 7
MP3 player of choice: iPhone 4
Shell of choice: shotgun
Favourite cartoon character: Deadpool, Early Cuyler, Eric Cartman, Cleveland Brown, Patrick Star, Batman, Quagmire
Personal Quote: I have multiple personality disorder but they're all exactly the same.
Favourite Movies
Watchmen and District 9
Favourite Bands / Musical Artists
Bob Dylan, Beatles, Flobots
Favourite Writers
David Simon, Ayn Rand, Kurt Vonnegut, Joseph Heller, GEORGE RR MARTIN
Favourite Games
Halo Reach
Tools of the Trade
Nikon D90, Photoshop, Lightroom
Other Interests
life and death and seafood
"Did you know that I am the nineteenth most Patriotic man in the world?"
"That's interesting. Why do you say that?"
"I did some research on the Internet about very Patriotic people and I only found eighteen who might be more Patriotic than myself."
"So you made up this patriotism ranking system yourself? Who are you to judge people's patriotism?"
"I'm the nineteenth most Patriotic man in the world, who the fuck are you?"
"Not a nut who capitalizes the word patriotic."
"It's more Patriotic this way. I gained seventy ranks from this idea alone."
"What?"
"And how can you tell what I'm capitalizing? We're speaking, not writing."
"This is
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An important clarification.
0 min read
If I was one million times more likely to be killed by a meteor than the average person, you might advise me against becoming an astronaut, but in fact, astronauts are in danger of asteroids, which are not meteors until they enter the atmosphere.
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Droppin' some science
0 min read
On a female helicopter the altimiter is to the left of the tachometer, on a male helicopter it's above it. That's the only way to tell. Automobiles are female if they have a license plate in the front and the back, and male if there's only one on the back. Automobiles have no gender if they have no plates. A brand new car straight from the dealership is sexless even with the paper temporary plates until it gets real metal ones. All ships are female unless they're spaceships in which case they're male if American and female if foreign, all submarines are male, and construction vehicles like bulldozers can have up to nine different genders for
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Profile Comments 485
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I'll tell you what we're going to do, Mohammed, we're going to steal an entire airport. When those nasty Airport Jews wake up the next morning, where their airport was will be nothing but an empty dirt field, and they will have nowhere to land their nasty Jewish airplanes. Allahu akbar.
Commercial airline travel is actually incredibly dangerous, and there are between 50 to 80 catastrophic passenger plane crashes every year in the United States alone.
You don't hear about it because they're covering it up. The airline companies work with the government to pay off all the victims' families and the witnesses for their silence, and it's like the people on board these planes never even existed. The feds then go on the news and say the crash site was some kind of industrial accident or there was a tornado and usually they'll fabricate some video footage.
This is all because if everyone knew, they would stop flying, and the price of oil would plummet, and Iran would bomb Saudi Arabia, and we would have to go to war in the Middle East again.
You don't hear about it because they're covering it up. The airline companies work with the government to pay off all the victims' families and the witnesses for their silence, and it's like the people on board these planes never even existed. The feds then go on the news and say the crash site was some kind of industrial accident or there was a tornado and usually they'll fabricate some video footage.
This is all because if everyone knew, they would stop flying, and the price of oil would plummet, and Iran would bomb Saudi Arabia, and we would have to go to war in the Middle East again.
Hey, sergeant shithead! I remembered how much you love disappointments so I baked you a Fuck You Cake, gave it a sex change, had sex with it, sold it to your wife and donated the proceeds to the Islamic State. Happy Veteran's Day, asshole!
Unlike on most other planets where organisms' innate capacity for time travel are closely correlated with their body mass, on Earth, only tiny organisms such as ants and flies possess a natural time travel ability. They lack any intelligence to control it and use it seemingly at random, unlike the fishmen of Venus, who deftly skip forward in time in unison whenever their planet is struck by a meteor that would exterminate their entire species, which happens about twice a day.
Even though it resides squarely in the middle of the Western Hemisphere, the United States of America claims sovereignty over 244 different global North Poles and 119 different South Poles.
Christmas nasheeds for black people
When I was in prison I learned a little bit about time travel, but the guy who taught me was a schizophrenic homosexual idiot, so I'm not very good at it and I keep getting caught.