"Did you know that I am the nineteenth most Patriotic man in the world?"

"That's interesting. Why do you say that?"

"I did some research on the Internet about very Patriotic people and I only found eighteen who might be more Patriotic than myself."

"So you made up this patriotism ranking system yourself? Who are you to judge people's patriotism?"

"I'm the nineteenth most Patriotic man in the world, who the fuck are you?"

"Not a nut who capitalizes the word patriotic."

"It's more Patriotic this way. I gained seventy ranks from this idea alone."

"What?"

"And how can you tell what I'm capitalizing? We're speaking, not writing."

"This is a text message conversation, Michael."

"You can go to hell. You should see how Patriotically I write the word U.S.A. I dot the I's with bald eagles, bro. Bald eagles the size of dots. And not really tiny drawings of bald eagles, but actual living bald eagles the size of dots. How Patriotic is that?"