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About Deviant Mike JagMale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 10 Years
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Mjag
Mike Jag
United States
Current Residence: Brooklyn
Favourite photographer: art wolfe, bruce percy
Favourite style of art: Landscape photography that makes you NEED to go there
Operating System: 7
MP3 player of choice: iPhone 4
Shell of choice: shotgun
Favourite cartoon character: Deadpool, Early Cuyler, Eric Cartman, Cleveland Brown, Patrick Star, Batman, Quagmire
Personal Quote: I have multiple personality disorder but they're all exactly the same.
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"Did you know that I am the nineteenth most Patriotic man in the world?"

"That's interesting. Why do you say that?"

"I did some research on the Internet about very Patriotic people and I only found eighteen who might be more Patriotic than myself."

"So you made up this patriotism ranking system yourself? Who are you to judge people's patriotism?"

"I'm the nineteenth most Patriotic man in the world, who the fuck are you?"

"Not a nut who capitalizes the word patriotic."

"It's more Patriotic this way. I gained seventy ranks from this idea alone."

"What?"

"And how can you tell what I'm capitalizing? We're speaking, not writing."

"This is a text message conversation, Michael."

"You can go to hell. You should see how Patriotically I write the word U.S.A. I dot the I's with bald eagles, bro. Bald eagles the size of dots. And not really tiny drawings of bald eagles, but actual living bald eagles the size of dots. How Patriotic is that?"
  • Mood: Zeal

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:iconmjag:
Mjag Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2015
Even though it resides squarely in the middle of the Western Hemisphere, the United States of America claims sovereignty over 244 different global North Poles and 119 different South Poles.
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Mjag Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2015
Christmas nasheeds for black people
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Mjag Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2015
When I was in prison I learned a little bit about time travel, but the guy who taught me was a schizophrenic homosexual idiot, so I'm not very good at it and I keep getting caught.
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:iconmjag:
Mjag Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2015
I'll tell you what we're going to do, Mohammed, we're going to steal an entire airport. When those nasty Airport Jews wake up the next morning, where their airport was will be nothing but a featureless dirt field, and they will have nowhere to land their nasty Jewish airplanes.
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Mjag Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2015
european space agency probe discovers asteroid to be cardboard-thin rocky shell filled with human blood and living snails the size of cities
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Mjag Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2015
fossilized aeroplane found thirty miles under antarctic surface full of unidentifiable human remains with no bone marrow
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Mjag Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2015
Using outer space to manifest blood of the soul, a biological highway to new dimensions!
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Mjag Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2015
It has parts that are animal, parts that are plant, parts that are a mixture of both and parts that are very clearly neither and have not before been seen on Earth. It seems to be the conglomerate of several kingdoms of life, of which we can only identify a minority.
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:iconmjag:
Mjag Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2015
Yagway, nush, semerret, choober, prunthem, vunned, quenver.
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:iconmjag:
Mjag Featured By Owner Edited Jul 15, 2015
President Miller insisted that he must never be photographed or filmed, and all the media, from mainstream to fringe, unanimously complied. His two terms in office from 2020 to 2028 were considered a golden age of American prosperity and progress, and the people loved him though they never knew what he looked like. Instead of showing pictures, newspapers simply described the moderate Republican as an average looking white man with thick glasses and thin hair, aged somewhere between 50 and 70, and when a news event like a debate or an inauguration required Miller to be on live TV, the networks simply showed him from the neck down. He promised to end the secrecy when his term in office ended, but on the January morning which his successor was to move into the Oval Office, he was killed in a car accident that burned his head alone to ashes.
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