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About Deviant Member Mike JagMale/United States Recent Activity
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Mjag
Mike Jag
United States
Current Residence: Brooklyn
Favourite photographer: art wolfe, bruce percy
Favourite style of art: Landscape photography that makes you NEED to go there
Operating System: 7
MP3 player of choice: iPhone 4
Shell of choice: shotgun
Favourite cartoon character: Deadpool, Early Cuyler, Eric Cartman, Cleveland Brown, Patrick Star, Batman, Quagmire
Personal Quote: I have multiple personality disorder but they're all exactly the same.
Interests
"Did you know that I am the nineteenth most Patriotic man in the world?"

"That's interesting. Why do you say that?"

"I did some research on the Internet about very Patriotic people and I only found eighteen who might be more Patriotic than myself."

"So you made up this patriotism ranking system yourself? Who are you to judge people's patriotism?"

"I'm the nineteenth most Patriotic man in the world, who the fuck are you?"

"Not a nut who capitalizes the word patriotic."

"It's more Patriotic this way. I gained seventy ranks from this idea alone."

"What?"

"And how can you tell what I'm capitalizing? We're speaking, not writing."

"This is a text message conversation, Michael."

"You can go to hell. You should see how Patriotically I write the word U.S.A. I dot the I's with bald eagles, bro. Bald eagles the size of dots. And not really tiny drawings of bald eagles, but actual living bald eagles the size of dots. How Patriotic is that?"
  • Mood: Zeal

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Mjag Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2014
Szeich! Wouzheim! Pan iftazir nuezim! Oanhru czelrodhar, pan wush ghastem! Szeich! Wouzheim! Pan iftazir nuezim! Oanhru czelrodhar, pan wush ghastem!
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Mjag Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2014
If you have sex with one Senator, one Member of Congress, and one Supreme Court justice, you automatically become President of the United States. But you get no Secret Service protection and your assassination is completely legal.
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Mjag Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2014
GIANT NAZI SPIDER
-  Length:  109 feet
-  Attack speed:  2
-  Damage:  10
-  Languages spoken:  German, Flemish, Spider
-  100% increased damage against Jews
-  100% increased damage against Blacks
-  75% increased damage against Gypsies
-  40% increased damage against Homosexuals
-  190% damage taken from Americans
-  220% damage taken from Russians
-  Defecates when touched
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Mjag Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014
There are no birds in New Mexico.
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Mjag Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014
We've designed the perfect stealth helicopter. It's unmanned, completely silent and invisible to radar, no rotors or other moving parts, and about two inches long. It won't even have to leave your pocket. The enemy will never know it exists.
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Mjag Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2014
Dolphins can climb trees. Wait, no, they can't.
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Mjag Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2014
Japanese people in Brooklyn steal stop signs. I think they use them for cooking. Like, instead of a knife, they use the stolen stop signs to cut up fish and vegetables. It's probably either that or for some freaky sexual thing.
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Mjag Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2014
"How to turn a puppy into a dog in just three years!"
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Mjag Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2014
I forgot to pay my taxes for the last ten years so I called the IRS and convinced them that they don't exist. They convinced me that I don't exist either. We made a deal that I wouldn't have to pay taxes again as long as I never tell anyone who still exists about this phone call.
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