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About Deviant Member Mike JagMale/United States Recent Activity
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Mjag
Mike Jag
United States
Current Residence: Brooklyn
Favourite photographer: art wolfe, bruce percy
Favourite style of art: Landscape photography that makes you NEED to go there
Operating System: 7
MP3 player of choice: iPhone 4
Shell of choice: shotgun
Favourite cartoon character: Deadpool, Early Cuyler, Eric Cartman, Cleveland Brown, Patrick Star, Batman, Quagmire
Personal Quote: I have multiple personality disorder but they're all exactly the same.
Interests
"Did you know that I am the nineteenth most Patriotic man in the world?"

"That's interesting. Why do you say that?"

"I did some research on the Internet about very Patriotic people and I only found eighteen who might be more Patriotic than myself."

"So you made up this patriotism ranking system yourself? Who are you to judge people's patriotism?"

"I'm the nineteenth most Patriotic man in the world, who the fuck are you?"

"Not a nut who capitalizes the word patriotic."

"It's more Patriotic this way. I gained seventy ranks from this idea alone."

"What?"

"And how can you tell what I'm capitalizing? We're speaking, not writing."

"This is a text message conversation, Michael."

"You can go to hell. You should see how Patriotically I write the word U.S.A. I dot the I's with bald eagles, bro. Bald eagles the size of dots. And not really tiny drawings of bald eagles, but actual living bald eagles the size of dots. How Patriotic is that?"
  • Mood: Zeal

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:iconmjag:
There are no birds in New Mexico.
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:iconmjag:
We've designed the perfect stealth helicopter. It's unmanned, completely silent and invisible to radar, no rotors or other moving parts, and about two inches long. It won't even have to leave your pocket. The enemy will never know it exists.
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:iconmjag:
Dolphins can climb trees. Wait, no, they can't.
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:iconmjag:
Japanese people in Brooklyn steal stop signs. I think they use them for cooking. Like, instead of a knife, they use the stolen stop signs to cut up fish and vegetables. It's probably either that or for some freaky sexual thing.
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:iconmjag:
"How to turn a puppy into a dog in just three years!"
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:iconmjag:
I forgot to pay my taxes for the last ten years so I called the IRS and convinced them that they don't exist. They convinced me that I don't exist either. We made a deal that I wouldn't have to pay taxes again as long as I never tell anyone who still exists about this phone call.
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:iconmjag:
Vicky became obsessed with stealing traffic cones, and she was very good at it. But she didn't know what to do with them afterwards. After two years of this, every square inch of her Brooklyn apartment was filled with thousands of filthy orange traffic cones; she even started nailing them to the walls and ceiling to make room for more.
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:iconmjag:
I'm spending $2 million on plastic surgery to turn myself into a pyramid. Because have you ever said no to someone who looks like a pyramid? I didn't fucking think so.
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